If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple… In the same way, everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple.”

Today we are given some more of Jesus’s very Hard sayings. Hating family is really dramatic language! There are about three different ways that I have read to explain or better understand this language.

First is simply that the words don’t translate exactly the same. Just as with the word love, the greeks had multiple words for the word hate. In english we have the one, but in greek they have four. The word used here, in greek, does not mean the seething rage kind of hate, it is closer to “love less”. So in that understanding this statement does seem less objectionable, but it is still not the whole story.

The second explanation is hyperbole. Jewish rabbis of this time, would use extreme examples to make a point, essentially exaggerating for the sake of emphasis. While this does help us to understand the culture and the way in which rabbis would normally talk to each other, It still does not explain the harshness of this teaching…, so we are still not quite there yet.

The last way of understanding this teaching is by putting it in context to the other teachings of Jesus in the bible. Specifically Korban. The wealthy jewish people often practiced this strategy. They did this as a technical loop hole, in order to horde their money, and not have to share it. They would simply say that that their money is dedicated to the temple (korban), and that it could not be spent on helping family or those in need. They did not have to give their money in the temple, only say that they were, and then they could get away with not giving help to the needy. Jesus in clear words condemned this practice, and even said “woe to you” that do this.

So to me it is more than obvious that Jesus is not saying you should not love or take care of your family, but instead that you should not love them more than god. God must be first in all relationships. Because if you do not get that relationship right, you will not get any other relationship right. So we must start by building our relationship to god first, and then all of our other relationships will make more sense, and be easier to maintain.

Consider this analogy. A marriage should be like a triangle, where the spouses are on the bottom corners, and God is on the top corner. As the spouses seek to get closer to god, then they will invariably become closer to each other. This is the beautiful geometry of Heaven. This analogy is true about all relationships that we have in the world.

So this takes us to the last line of the passage. “In the same way, every one of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple.” What does it mean to renounce all your possessions. Does that mean that you have to be like St. Francis, and take off all your clothes and give them away? Does it mean that you have to be a pauper for all time. I don’t think so, but some may be called to that level of sacrifice. But for the rest of us, we still need to rightly order our lives with regard to the things we have. Wether it is family, friends, homes, cars, or anything… If we place its value higher in our lives than God, then we are making a huge mistake.

The rightly ordered life requires that your first and most important relationship be between you and God, then next your spouse, then your children, and then everyone, and everything else. If you get this order wrong, or lose track of what is really important, you will invariably create a false idol in your life and the evil one will exploit that, put you into slavery, tie that thing around your neck like a leash, and then drag you into hell with it.

You must put Jesus first, and when you do, all other things will fall into place. It is not a pious idea, it is the true, and real fact about our human existence. So if you have something in your life that has become a false idol, put God first, and rightly order your life. Take everything to Him, and then you will find the peace that we all desire and the happiness that God wants for us all.

Oh god, help me today to see the false idols I have in my life, and help me to rightly order them according to your will and glory. Amen.